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Write a blog! Blog! Blooooooooooog!!! That's the advice. So I guess I have to stop dragging my feet and just do it. My friends say so, every person telling you how to run a successful business says so, and even Nike says so. Who am I to question Nike?

First, let me tell you something about myself. I used to be a ballet dancer. 'Twas a long time ago and, at this late date in my life, it's beginning to feel like something that didn't actually even happen but rather something I dreamed up in my exponentially imaginative little noggin. A season of injuries pretty much ended it for me and segueing into teaching and choreography were the options left me. So I did those things. I DO those things. That's my "day" job. Photography, up until awhile ago, has been my hidden baby. I hid the pregnancy, birthed it in a secluded place, and nurtured it in secret spaces. I feel protective of it, will fight for it, and if you mess with it, I will bloody your nose.

We all need a secret something--ours exclusively. Sometimes you cannot even show it to people you love and think love you. They seem mercilessly compelled to punch holes in it until it leaks like a sieve--all under the auspices of "concern" for you. Maybe. There are some things are just a little hard to swallow and I am thinking that is one of them. How are you enjoying my blog so far? Have I depressed you yet? This is why me and blogging really don't fit so well. I'm a real Debbie Downer.

So here's some of the input:

"Why don't you take pictures of, say, flowers?"

"You sure do take a lot of pictures of yourself."

"That's really dark. Why don't you do some pretty things?"

"Do you want to give people nightmares?" (Well, yes.)

Seriously casting pearls before swine.

So here's what my first blog will address:

Why DON'T you take pictures of flowers? Because they are not interesting to me. I take pictures of them sometimes but some people are so very good at it because they are passionate about flowers. I'm just ...not. I like people who are haunted because I am.

You sure do take a lot of pictures of yourself.... Because I'm always available, don't feel guilty for "wasting" my time trying to carve out my ideas, and I can make myself into anything I want. I have free reign with my own face...but I do get tired of seeing it at times. But I still manage to come back to silly ol' me for a model.

That's really dark. Why don't you do some pretty things? I just can't even. I just can't. Besides, I do DO pretty things...just not your brand of pretty.

Do you really want to give people nightmares? Sure. Since so many people give me nightmares, I guess we can see it as paying it forward.

So I hope you enjoyed my first blog. It's cheeky, self-protective, and refuses to give you a piece of myself. I'm abstactedly aware that probably is counter to what a blog is for but I'm really an odd duck like that. Maybe I'll take my boxing gloves down for Blog 2. I make no promises.

The Deep Nowhere

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